13 Changes Every Woman Goes Through in Her 30s
TikTok said women in their 30s are hot, and I agree!!! Here’s why.
In case you missed it, a TikTok trend started a few weeks ago celebrating women in their 30s. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, 30-something women have been posting videos of themselves looking hot as f*ck to a Beyonce song on TikTok. I know. Social media is weird.
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When I was on the verge of turning 30 in the mid-2010s, there were no viral social media trends showcasing women in their 30s looking young, fun, and better than they did in their 20s. Instead, my social feeds were filled with people sharing lists and essays about the impending death to their youth with headlines like “10 Signs Your Youth Is Over, You Old F*ck!” and “30 Things You Should Stop Doing Before Turning 30 Because You’re Old Now.”
Looking back, I realize I spent my 20s in a bubble.
The primary social media platforms everyone used “back then” were Facebook and Instagram, and the algorithms only showed content shared by people you followed. At the time, I wasn’t friends on Facebook with many 30-somethings, nor did I follow many on Instagram. If most 30-somethings were out there feeling and looking young, hot, and fun, I didn’t know it!
For some reason, I assumed I’d wake up the day after my 30th birthday and find that my wrinkles, bills, and responsibilities had multiplied by one million and that I would also need to start shopping at Chico’s. But then I turned 30, looked in the mirror, and realized that I was absolutely insane. 30 is not old. If only social media had told me this!
While there are MANY CONS to the discover-oriented social media algorithms of today, discovering realities from people outside of your bubble does have some perks. If I had been force-fed a bunch of content from 30-somethings in my 20s on social media, maybe I would have been excited to enter my 30s.
Women in their 30s aren’t just amazing because they look GOOD. They are truly in their best selves era in every aspect of life.
At least so far. Things could get even better after 40. WHO KNOWS.
Shortly after turning 25 in 2013, I wrote a list of changes women go through in their 20s that went viral. It referenced things like “You will start wearing outfits more than once.” and “You won't be the youngest person at the bar anymore.” This was, and I cannot stress this enough, amateur hour. I used to think these changes meant I had grown up. Little did I know, I had a lot more growing up to do.
I think part of the glow up that happens in your 30s is because of the growing up that happens. 30-something women go through changes that make them shine brighter than their 20-something selves, no highlighter necessary. Below are the changes 30-something women go through that make them HOT AS F*CK.
13 Changes Women Go Through in Their 30s That Make Them Super Hot!!!
1. You realize that you’re still growing up—and that you will be for the rest of your life.
My three-year-old daughter would disagree, but I’m not sure one ever becomes a “grown up.” I’ve continued to grow up in my 30s, and I know I’ll continue growing up as I get older. No one is ever done growing. If you stop growing, you’re either dead or holding yourself back. This type of self-awareness makes you much hotter than your narrow-minded 20-something self.
2. Your world grows bigger, too.
As you progress through your 30s, you become surrounded by more and more people in drastically different life stages and situations than you. Your world becomes bigger, you become smaller (goodbye important person syndrome), and you gain perspective, which makes you more empathetic, understanding, and intelligent—three things that, according to science, make you hotter.
3. The little things get even smaller, making you worry less.
Your 30s in a picture:
Little thing happens at work that pisses you off? Kim, there’s people that are dying. Not invited to that event or gathering? Kim, there’s people that are dying. Someone doesn’t like you? Kim, there’s people that are dying.
When there are real things to worry about, the small stuff doesn’t bother you like it did in your 20s. 30-somethings simply do not have the bandwidth to give too many f*cks. And when you’re giving less f*cks, you have less worries, and when you have less worries, you get hotter!
4. You dress for yourself and not for trends.
At 36, I know what looks good on me and what doesn’t. I’m not going to mess with that just so I can feel cool in things that look insane on me, like barrel jeans. I’m 5’2 and curvy. Barrel jeans were not made for me, and I accept that. 30-somethings have been around the block. We know better than to shop based on vibes. We shop us first, and trends second, and that’s why we look hot whenever we get the chance to put on a full face and a cute ‘fit.
5. You’re better with money.
Whether the choices you made in your 20s left you in good or bad financial shape, there’s no doubt that you’re at least better with money in your 30s. You’re also (hopefully in this economy!!!) making more than you did in your 20s. And while you learn that money doesn’t buy happiness in your 30s, you also learn that it does. Like, you shouldn’t go spend money you don’t have on a vacation just to feel the warm sun and a buzz from a margarita, because debt will make you sad. But if you can afford a close encounter with the sun, by all means, GO TO THE SUN. After all, the sun gives you endorphins and endorphins make you hot and hot people just don’t shoot their husbands.
6. You relate to others you never thought you would.
After entering my 30s, I realized we were each so far down the different paths we started going down in our 20s that we were no longer all in similar situations. At first, I thought this limited my relatability. But perspective helped me realize that I was wrong.
At our core, we all relate to each other. Whether it’s about feeling behind in your career, like you’re not a good enough parent, or being scared while driving at night because you can no longer see in the dark, we’re all connected by emotions and anxiety—no matter how different our lives are. Realizing you’re on the same playing field as everyone else, no matter someone’s age, tax bracket, marital status, or decision to have children, makes you a better friend, co-worker, leader, family member, and human in general. And, of course, it also makes you super hot.
7. You reserve your energy for things you truly enjoy.
In my 20s, I made myself do things that added no value to my life when I was tired because I thought I was going to become a corpse at 30. In my 30s, a bitch would never.
If 30-somethings need to, they can force themselves to go out to dinner after a long day. And if they want to, they can force themselves to go out in the city like old times. The thing is, 30-somethings don’t want to go out like old times. And it’s not because they’re tired and want to go to sleep, although both of those things are probably true. It’s because they’ve lost interest in the things they used to love—if they even loved those things in the first place. The beauty of being in your 30s is being okay with saying no to things that don’t serve your interests—and being well-rested and healthier because of it. And the number that does on our skin is yet another reason why 30-somethings are hot.
8. You actually take care of yourself.
It’s not just the sleep you’re getting and the lack of worries that make your skin look better in your 30s. You also take better care of yourself. Sure, wrinkles get worse over time, especially for those of us who have never gotten Botox. But you no longer spend weekends running on three to four hours of sleep after drunk eating greasy pizza in the middle of the night and forgetting to take your makeup off. In your 30s, you get progressively better at taking care of your skin and not eating like shit, and this makes you look like you have your shit together—and it also makes you hot.
9. You come to terms with the fact that your job doesn’t define you.
Your job is a job. Hopefully you enjoy it. Hopefully you believe in the company’s mission. But, at the end of the day, if you don’t own the company, you have no control over your future there, and it could all go away in an instant. In your 20s, it’s hard to understand this. With a lack of responsibilities in your personal life, work seems bigger than it really is. But as you get older, and your responsibilities outside of work grow, work gets smaller. That DOESN’T MEAN you care less or work less. It simply means you become more well-rounded. You learn the difference between career and job, and you stop taking everything so personally. This makes you a better employee and a better leader. It also makes you hot.
10. You know that age is just a number.
When I was in my 20s, people over the age of 30 would constantly tell me that they read my blog. “Weird,” I would think to myself, unaware that I was being an ageist f*ck.
It wasn’t until I was in my 30s that I learned we’re not so different—20-somethings, 30-somethings, and everyone else. Being five years apart from someone in your 30s means you’re the same exact age, but in your 20s, this age difference puts you on different planets. In your 30s, you learn that age doesn’t mean you know less or know more. Nor does it mean you’re more capable or less capable. It means that you were born on a certain date at a certain time, and that you’re part of a specific generation, and also perhaps a sub-generation (shout out to my fellow Spice Girls sub-gen members!!!). We were all young once. Realizing this makes you a nicer person, and a hot person too, just like the Spice Girls.
11. You simply do not care what other people think (most of the time).
30-something women don’t care if you think their jeans are outdated or their socks are giving old lady. They don’t care enough to put on a full face of makeup every time they leave the house. They don’t care enough to post everything on social media. They don’t care enough to change out of their leggings and sneakers for brunch. They don’t care if someone disagrees with their decisions regarding their kids or their career. And they don’t care what you think about any of it. And not caring makes them hot.
12. You’re the most confident you’ve ever been in your entire life.
I was confident in my 20s, but I was also insecure and struggling with imposter syndrome. Do I still deal with these things? Hell yes. But I’m able to shut down these thoughts whenever they take over my brain because I’m 36 years old, and I know I’m a bad bitch. 30-somethings have spent over 30 years with themselves. They know themselves better than anyone else. They know what makes them feel better. They know what makes them do better. They know their story inside and out, and no one can prove them wrong. Confidence makes everyone hot—but especially 30-somethings who know their worth.
13. You stop racing because you no longer live life by a timeline.
The biggest lesson you learn in your 30s is that life is not a race. You’re no longer obsessed with getting ahead. You’re obsessed with going after things you want. You’re obsessed with things that bring you joy. You learn that “getting ahead” is a myth. All those times you thought you were racing to catch up or move past others in your 20s, you realize you were chasing people who weren’t even headed in the same direction as you. In your 30s, you still set goals, but you remove the ages you want to accomplish them. You have the rest of your life ahead of you, and it somehow feels like you have more time than you thought you did in your 20s. The freedom you feel from slowing down and appreciating what you have while still working towards your goals makes you the hottest you’ll probably ever be in your life.
Xoxo,
Sam
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Oh man, tbh I'm still waiting for that confidence to kick in. Maybe by the end of my 30s :).